Few of my close friends know that, years ago, I had to decide between becoming an artist or a psychologist. Obviously, you know what I have chosen. From time to time, I experience nostalgia for painting and creating, wondering how my life would have turned out if I had made a different decision. This year, I received a thoughtful Christmas gift: a painting easel and materials, along with the opportunity to attend the best pottery class in Amsterdam, curated by Laurent Muller
As someone who values consciousness, this pottery class has become a personal practice—a journey of embracing awareness within myself and extending it to others. It has become a canvas where the principles of therapy and the art of pottery beautifully converge. My commitment to consciousness, a cornerstone in my personal and professional values (as discussed in my article “The Therapist’s Values as the Cornerstone of Effective Psychotherapy“), has transcended into the clay, creating a unique experience where self-discovery unfolds through the hands molding the clay and the mind shaping perceptions.
The profound words shared by the instructor during the class acted as mirrors, reflecting back on the essence of consciousness. Each phrase became a catalyst, making me pause and reflect not only on the clay in my hands but also on the intricate layers of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors within myself.
“Step by Step It Cracks Less”
In therapy, progress is gradual, and the same principle applies to pottery. The instructor’s words, ‘step by step it cracks less,’ echoed the importance of patience and perseverance in both art and personal development. Rushing, whether in shaping clay or navigating personal growth, can result in traumas and harm to people and situations. However, patient and gentle management is a way to proceed slower but further in life and therapy. This deliberate approach allows for a more sustainable and lasting transformation, emphasizing the value of mindful progress over hurried outcomes.
“The More Water You Add, the Less You Feel”
Clay, when dry and rigid, can be harsh on our hands. However, by adding too much water, we reach a point where we no longer feel the material, and we are completely disconnected from the experience in front of us. In pottery, as in life, the analogy extends: just as we add water to clay, we protect ourselves from emotional pain by “adding” avoidance techniques. This self-protective measure prevents us from engaging with the ‘harsh material of life,’ causing a disconnection of thoughts, emotions, and even our own bodies. The act of ‘overwatering’ our lives hinders us from comprehending our conscious selves and embracing our individuality in its entirety.
“Take Only the Piece of Clay You Can Hold“
In life, overwhelming ourselves with an excessive load of responsibilities and expectations often results in heightened stress levels. The instructor’s insightful advice to take only what we can hold serves as a profound metaphor, resonating with the crucial importance of setting realistic boundaries for our mental well-being. Much like attempting to grasp too much clay at once may result in a loss of control and a compromised creation, juggling an excessive burden in life can lead to feelings of overwhelm and a diminished ability to manage our tasks effectively. Embracing the concept of selectively choosing the pieces of life we can handle allows for a more mindful and balanced approach, fostering a healthier mental state and enabling us to sculpt a more fulfilling and harmonious life.
“Confidence Comes with Repetition”
Repeatedly molding clay becomes a transformative journey that extends beyond the pottery wheel. This process mirrors the therapeutic journey, where consistent and intentional efforts lead to increased self-assurance. Much like the reassuring mantra, ‘Confidence comes with repetition,’ the act of shaping clay repeatedly serves as a powerful reminder that practice not only refines our skills but also cultivates a profound sense of self-confidence. Each rotation of the wheel becomes a step toward mastery, illustrating that the more we engage in repetitive actions, the more we internalize the confidence needed to navigate life’s challenges with a newfound strength and resilience.
“It’s Not About Power, It’s About Where to Push”
In the realm of therapy and pottery alike, the notion that empowerment lies in choosing where to direct our efforts resonates deeply. Contrary to a mindset of overpowering, success in both areas is rooted in understanding where gentle yet deliberate pushes can create the desired outcome. In therapy, it’s about channeling our energy towards areas that foster personal growth and healing. Similarly, in pottery, the subtle art lies not in overpowering the clay but in discerning where to apply the right amount of pressure. This parallel reinforces the idea that success is not about brute force but about strategic and mindful engagement, highlighting the importance of wisdom and finesse in navigating the complexities of both therapeutic journeys and the art of pottery.
“The Wheel Does 70%, You Do 30%”
Collaboration is key in therapy and pottery. Acknowledging that the wheel does the majority of the work reinforces the idea that seeking support and utilizing available resources is essential for personal and artistic development. In both realms, the concept of ‘The Wheel Does 70%, You Do 30%’ underscores the importance of collaboration and shared effort. It’s a reminder that, most of the time, we don’t have to carry the entire burden ourselves. However, it’s crucial to recognize that this division can sometimes lead to a subtle competition with the wheel, as we may find ourselves tempted to exert more effort than necessary, attempting to take on a larger share of the load. Understanding that the wheel is designed to handle the majority of the work encourages us to embrace collaboration and delegate tasks effectively, fostering an environment where mutual contributions lead to more meaningful outcomes. It’s a valuable lesson that in both therapy and pottery, success often comes from harmonious collaboration, where the wheel’s capabilities and our intentional efforts complement each other, creating a balanced and fruitful journey of growth and creation.
“Sometimes Late Means It’s Late, Let It Go”
In therapy, the philosophy of acceptance holds a profound significance. The instructor’s sagacious advice about letting go when it’s too late echoes the fundamental therapeutic principle of acknowledging and releasing what cannot be changed. This concept extends beyond the pottery studio, serving as a poignant reminder that there are moments in life where the passage of time renders certain situations immutable. Embracing the therapeutic essence of ‘Sometimes Late Means It’s Late, Let It Go’ involves cultivating the resilience to confront the reality of irreversible circumstances and find solace in the acceptance of the present. This therapeutic wisdom urges us to relinquish the weight of regret and redirect our focus towards the possibilities that lie ahead, fostering a mindset of growth and renewal. Just as in the art of pottery, where attempting to alter the clay after a certain point may compromise the integrity of the piece, understanding the art of letting go in life is a transformative practice that leads to emotional liberation and the restoration of inner balance.
As we stroll through life, how we tackle tasks says a lot about who we are. Being conscious of our approach isn’t just about getting things done; it’s a snapshot of self-discovery. So, let’s take a moment to enjoy the journey, be mindful in our actions, and get to know ourselves a little better along the way!
*I’m Nataliya Redina, a psychologist based in Haarlem and The Hague, offering in-person and online sessions. I work with expatriates to navigate life abroad, manage anxiety, depression, and strengthen resilience using evidence-based methods.